Here we are, cool cats: the end of our chart topping odyssey (Unless of course I pick the French, New Zealand or Dijibouti charts as my next project...which I just might...beware!!!). The Aughts in the US of A were a time of...well, let's let this guy explain it:
Wow...Thank God that decade's over!
Here's some pop songs!
1.) 3 - Britney Spears (October 18, 2009)
Brit gives us the finest song about a menage a trois since David Crosby's "Triad", and we thank her and her Swedish overlord Max Martin by putting their electro-perfect confection at the top. It also references Peter, Paul & Mary, which means squat to you, but provides me with a great sense of joy hearing Britney reference her forebears in...number one smashes???!!!???
Eh, I got nothin'...great track though!
2) Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's ( July 28, 2007)
Have you ever heard another Plain White T's song?
Me neither...let's try this one from their newest release!
Aww, they've caught the ukelele bug too! However, on their chart topper, they were clearly indebted to the ballads of Peter Criss and Jim Croce, which makes me never get sick of it.
3.) Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie (September 8, 2007)
If Fergie Ferg (who blew my mind performing "Gimme Shelter" with Sir Mick at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Anniversary Concert) wrote and performed more songs like this, I might forgive her for "My Humps"...
We'll always have KIDS Incorporated, Stacey!
4.) Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks ( July 1, 2006)
As of this writing, Taylor Hicks was the last winner of American Idol to top the charts with his debut single. I think it's safe to say (with the state of the music industry) that will probably never happen again. Still, let's journey back to a simpler time, when Idol not only won in the ratings but sold millions of units as well.
Scotty McCreery, the ball's in your court...
...but I don't think you can "Cocker" a ballad like my man Hicksy.
5.) You're Beautiful - James Blunt ( March 11, 2006)
Have you forgotten it? No.
Do you wish you had? Maybe.
Is it better than you remember, back when it was played every two seconds on top 40 stations that were thrilled to show a slight bit of the format's former diversity? Undoubtedly.
Written about a time when Mr. Blunt made eye contact with an old love in a subway station, it's actually heartbreaking in its simplicity and its feeling.
What that has to do with snow, things in your pocket and jumping off of cliffs, I'll never know, but let's watch the video anyway!
6. Confessions Pt. 2 - Usher ( July 24, 2004)
Modern R&B rarely allows for such honest pleas of forgiveness while actually naming the list of infidelities that brought them about. Usher was brave to risk this, and he was rewarded with his 3rd number one hit in 12 weeks. He would add another before the year was up.
7. Family Affair - Mary J Blige (November 3, 2001)
In the wake of September 11, Mary made us dance through our fears, which is more than we can ever thank her for.
8.) Bent - Matchbox Twenty ( July 22, 2000)
If modern rock would sound like this again, it would not be a punchline and it's radio format would not be dying...
...I'm just sayin'...
9.) Stronger - Kanye West ( September 29, 2007)
Before he became one of the most hated men in my circle of friends, Kanye was THE FREAKIN' MAN!!! (and he still is, but that's another rant for another time...) Putting Daft Punk under some of the best rhymes he ever spit was a genius stroke that has aged like a fine Klondike or Blonde Dyke...BEST FORGOTTEN SONG OF THE DECADE!!!
10.) Money Maker - Ludacris featuring Pharrell ( October 19, 2006)
The Neptunes + a mature Cris = Hottest slow jam of the decade. I'm pretty sure Pharrell could produce Yanni and make a smash!
Thus concludes our series. I'll be back next week with...something...c'mon, ideas! Thanks for reading, and remember to check out the entire series' playlist on spotify!